Are You All Set for a Real Win?

Are You All Set for a Real Win?

Are achieving the goals that you have set for yourself really the ones that will make you feel successful?

A student at my tennis academy has a unique problem. Though he is a reasonably good player, he constantly refuses to take part in tournaments that our academy regularly organises. His reluctance to compete in tournaments stems mostly because he believes he’s just not good enough to beat others. In his logic of things, one should compete only to win. And, if one isn’t sure of winning, it’s more sensible to not participate at all, and save oneself from the disappointments of a  loss.

Consider how many times all of us use that logic as well. Normally, we believe that participation is as crucial as winning, for if everyone used the boy’s logic, there wouldn’t be winners and no measure for excellence. However, when pressed, many of us may consider what I call the “Little Boy Logic” to turn our backs on competition unless we’re sure of victory.

This logic was very much at play during the London Olympics where many participants came within a whisker of winning. I’m sure many of you would have watched Argentine tennis player Juan Martin del Potro’s shattered look after losing the semi-finals to Roger Federer, who then went ahead and lost the finals to local favourite Andy Murray. Did we, at any time, feel that del Potro or Federer became inferior after their respective losses? Does falling short of the title turn these athletes into losers? It clearly doesn’t. What then makes winning so important?

Also, does winning really feel as amazing as it’s supposed to? While the pursuit of a challenging goal is both long and arduous, the joy of victory is at best, momentary. Chances are that the pain of loss is a persistent memory while the pleasure of winning is often fleeting in comparison. Champion shooter Abhinav Bindra will undoubtedly confirm this, having won the gold medal at Beijing Olympics, and losing in the qualifying heats at London. Step into his shoes. After both these events, the question would have remained the same for him—what next?

Whether the competition is once every four years as at the Olympics, or on a daily basis in the business world, the real issue is the way in which we define victory. More often than not, a win flatters to deceive—in other words, it gives us less than we expect. It’s not hard to fathom why. 

Often the process begins (like in the case of my tennis student) from a very young age when a glimmer of talent is pushed hard at the cost of childhood fun. Kids push their bodies and minds until they become champions. As teens, they set (or are set) targets of entering Ivy League universities, though statistics indicate that alumni of lesser schools end up doing as well in life. Adults measure success from a purely financial perspective, often conveniently ignoring the fact that this metric does not necessarily culminate in one’s happiness.

In my many years as a leadership and executive coach, I’ve worked with several high-achieving entrepreneurs and CEOs who have shared their personal joys of having won a new business deal, and overcoming obstacles to meet tough goals. Some of them have received rewards and recognition from their peers for their outstanding performances. These achievements took them long hours of arduous effort, and a constant focus on developing business acumen and skills. However, many complained of a sense of incompleteness once the milestones were reached.

This brings me to the all important question. Should we redefine victory so that it’s more inclusive, and entails a more sustained personal satisfaction? Additionally, can there be a better definition of success beyond leading a single-minded life centred on impermanent, seasonal goals?  Or do we look beyond, into a more spiritual solution and consider what Lord Buddha says: “Is the definition of success different from attaining fulfilment in life”?

As is the case with most problems, the solution to this one too lies at the very beginning. It is about doing it right the first time. If we begin well—by defining goals that reflect our passion and dreams—we won’t be left with a sense of disillusionment on attaining them.

Approach victory without the fear of losing. Successful businesses fail multiple times before hitting pay dirt.

Yet, how does one do that? What constitutes a real winning goal? I consider three  components to be critical drivers. 

First, we must recognise that only those goals that help us accept and realise our potential can be described as winning goals. Would it be realistic for each and every sprinter to set a goal of running faster than Usain Bolt? Can every swimmer be asked to follow in the footsteps of Michael Phelps when it comes to setting targets? The answer would be a definite no. However, the sprinters and swimmers can definitely commit to working harder and smarter with the goal of becoming better at what they are doing—without necessarily worrying about a championship medal at the end of the road.

The corporate world would do well to follow this maxim while setting targets, both in the short-term and the long-term. If the long-term objective is to beat the competition—or even vanquish it—by grabbing significant market share, or through a hostile acquisition so as to make a statement, the chances are that the satisfaction levels after such big-bang moves would be extremely short-lived.

Second, it is important to approach victory without any fear of losing. The history of the world tells us of successful businesses failing multiple times before hitting pay dirt. Haven’t we seen champion archers and shooters appear completely unruffled when they miss the bullseye? Instead of moping, these athletes accept their failures, learn from their mistakes and prepare for the next challenge.  Acceptance of failure is what paves the way for winning as they innovate and continue to invest their time and energy to move towards their goal. They derive satisfaction from the small successes that everyday experiences provide them on this journey.

The third and final concept is to understand and accept that true winners set goals that bring shared value to the community. For them, meeting professional and business goals only serve as a step towards adding value to the society. The story of legendary tennis player Andre Agassi comes to mind instantly. Agassi ploughed back significant amounts of his prize money for setting up a school for underprivileged children. What is more interesting is that in his autobiography, Agassi reveals that he actually “hated” playing tennis but felt most fulfilled with his philanthropic venture.

If we can use these components while defining our goals, we may end up with a more purposeful career. If you find yourself at that particular stage in your professional or business career where milestones are getting redefined, it might be a great opportunity to ask yourself if the goals that you are setting are truly “winning goals”.

And, like my young student who was reluctant to play the tennis match, you can take the first step towards rewriting the definition of winning!

*Krishna Kumar is a master trainer and professional coach specialising in transformational leadership. An internationally-certified tennis coach, he’s also the founder of Kinesis Sports, India’s first ISO 9001-2008 certified tennis training institution. You can find him at www.isecindia.in.

 

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